It's 5 am on a Friday

And I am flirting with a doctor (badly) while I am assiting him put in a male catheter. I know this isn't how life is supposed to be, but I'll take what I can get these days.
Flirting with a guy as professionally as possible while he ever so professionally is holding another mans package.
I feel like my social life is over. I feel like I will be single forever. I really need to start loving work more because it's a warm Saturday night and I am drinking tea playing the violin as I have to get up at 5.30 am and work again.

Things patients say to me once a week part one

There are various things that I get asked daily. Often I think of them as stupid questions, proably not stupid to patients.
Here is my favourite question:

I will be doing something like administering an IV drug that takes a few minutes so there is awkward silence.

Patient:So do you have a boyfriend?
Me: (This either goes two ways, I say yes if the person is creepy or usually a blunt no, to indicate this is none of your business but hopefully you have some hot grandson visiting later today)

Now to the no there are always the same three answers
1) Oh you will meet a nice doctor (um please have you seen these guys)
2) Of course not you are far to busy working crazy hours (yeah thats my excuse too)
3) Don't worry, you are still young you will find someone eventually (I'm not as young as you think I am and no I won't, you are clearly saying that because you pity me)


Now if you are ever my patient a really bad time to ask me this question is when I am holding your genitals (This has happened twice for fucks sake), inserting anything PR etc. Bottom line, its none of your business.

introduction

I've been contemplating making a blog to reflect on my new 'career' for quite some time. I read a book last year based on a London ambulance drivers blog and I thought it was a fantastic idea. Sometimes it's good to come home from a crappy day at work and let it all out, and right now I feel that none of my friends or family have any idea of what it is like for me. There are busy days, fun days, sad days and I meet tonnes of interesting people who all have a story to tell.

So about me, I don't even know if its appropriate to say anything because of confidentiality. Lets keep this strictly business for now.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle

Those were the words I was thinking this morning as I attended my patient who I had developed a good rapport with over the past 56 hour work week. She was always lovely and thanked me for being lovely (even with chocolates), and I always insisted I didn't need to be thanked as I was only doing my job. I knew she appreciated my cheerfulness as she was aware I hadn't slept well due to my late/early.

At 1325 (the writing feels stained to the back of my hand) we commenced CPR on her. This was my first resuscitation, something I have dreaded all though my studies, yet somehow looked forward to it with some kind of heroic anxiety, like 'this is it! I am saving someone's life'. Of course the naive thing about this is not everyone is saved. And this was a young joyful patient, someone who made me feel like I was in the right profession. I know her kindness will stick with me forever, and I will always remember to treat my patients kindly because they are all battling and I am on their team.

RIP lovely lady, I know you are with the lord now and I pray your family is going to be ok.