Things patients say to me once a week part one

There are various things that I get asked daily. Often I think of them as stupid questions, proably not stupid to patients.
Here is my favourite question:

I will be doing something like administering an IV drug that takes a few minutes so there is awkward silence.

Patient:So do you have a boyfriend?
Me: (This either goes two ways, I say yes if the person is creepy or usually a blunt no, to indicate this is none of your business but hopefully you have some hot grandson visiting later today)

Now to the no there are always the same three answers
1) Oh you will meet a nice doctor (um please have you seen these guys)
2) Of course not you are far to busy working crazy hours (yeah thats my excuse too)
3) Don't worry, you are still young you will find someone eventually (I'm not as young as you think I am and no I won't, you are clearly saying that because you pity me)


Now if you are ever my patient a really bad time to ask me this question is when I am holding your genitals (This has happened twice for fucks sake), inserting anything PR etc. Bottom line, its none of your business.